Christmas Cracker at the Black Box

The Black Box in Belfast's Cathedral Quarter is one of my all time favourite venues and I like to go and support it as much as possible. So when I heard that they were holding a so called 'Christmas Cracker', I gathered up my family and headed out.

Suffice to say that none of us really knew what to expect, however we had gone to the previous two years Pigeon and Plum's Vaudeville Circus and this event featured many of the same performers. The Black Box itself lives up to its name very well, the main room is literally a black box, yet it had been transformed into a veritable wonderland of winter-ness. Paper decorations and tinsel hung from every possible space and a dozen or so tables had been set up across the floor. Christmas music was playing and guests were greeted by mulled wine and a man wearing a ridiculous wig and pink dress...this was going to be an interesting night.

The mood was high and the stage was adorned with christmas decorations galore, it was made up to look like an old 70's style living room, complete with an easy chair, a christmas tree and presents. As we took our seats and sipped at our mulled wine the room began to fill up and it was announced that the hog roast was ready. Yes, you heard, a delicious hog roast.  So after we had all eaten our weight in pork and crackling the show was ready to begin...

We were greeted by the charming 'Miss Candy Cane' who sang a selection of christmas songs including Jingle Bells and All I Want For Christmas Is You. Next up on stage was our host, Ron Crackling who wore a festive Christmas jumper and dodgy toupee. Ron was quite the character and his cheeky smile and sarcastic banter won the audience over instantly, it was clear that everybody was here for a good time.

The Christmas Cracker is basically a tongue-in-cheek variety show which doesn't take itself too seriously. Each performer has their own unique personality which is always as entertaining (if not more so) than the act which they are performing. The performers made good use of all of the Black Box's facilities, using a projector to display a short filmed skit of Ron running all around town looking for presents, this was an unexpected treat and added to the enjoyment over all.

However, I did get the impression that the Christmas theme wasn't a strict one, as the next performance was a hula hooping spacewoman and 'blue blob' (a woman in a blue morph suit who crawled around the stage grinning maniacally while staring at the spacewoman). This didn't matter though, as the audience was practically crying with laughter at this surreal scene. As an added bonus, the hula hooping was very impressive too.

Another particularly poignant, yet surreal moment is when Ron and a man wearing a David Bowie mask (and curtain/cape) dueted on Little Drummer Boy, both of which gave it stacks. Other performances included a sexy christmas burlesque dancer, a lot more singing and a rather impressive escapology act.

Next, the part we'd all been waiting for, the prizes for the 'best Christmas jumper' competition. The audience had donned their craziest knits and we saw some spectacular options including one which featured Santa's legs hanging out of a chimney. The winners however where a couple with matching his and hers jumpers (see below).

My personal highlight of the whole night is when the entirety of the cast gathered on stage in order to participate in a rendition of East 17's classic Christmas song Stay Another Day. Some of the older members obviously didn't know the words, but everyone gave it their all regardless, dancing and singing at the top of their lungs. It was definitely one of the funniest things I have seen all year. It's hard to describe The Christmas Cracker to someone who wasn't there, descriptions really don't do it justice at all. It's one of those 'you had to be there' events and I urge everyone to go next year, as it's definitely been the highlight of mine.

Going to a Pantomime at 29 years old.

Jack and the Beanstock Pantomime

@ The Grand Opera house

For the 3rd year in a row I went to the Panto at the Grand Opera House this year.  I used to go to the Panto every year during primary school, then in primary 7 it all stopped for about 16 years until my wife's mother was visiting us from Scotland for Christmas and we were trying to find things that everyone can do together. And I think thats one of the best things about a Panto,  anyone from 5 years old to 79 years old can go and enjoy it. It's bright lights, pyrotechnics, special effects, huge sets, crude jokes and pure entertainment.  I'm a massive wrestling fan and the parallels between the 2 are not hard to draw.  


I went to the Panto with my wife, mum, dad, sister, granny and mother-in-law. As we approach the GOH (Grand Opera House) we see through the glass walls kids running everywhere, light up wands and guns(?) and ice cream and sweets being sold from every conceivable place.  As we get in and get our seats we realise that we're probably the only ones here without kids, but we do have 2 septuagenarians so I image the experience to be very similar.  My nineteen year old sister then decides that she wants a flashing rotating light gun thing, so when I bounce off  to get her one I end up telling the lady behind the counter it's not for me, it's for the kids.  She looks at me like the teller looks at Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone.


And so the show begins; oh no it doesn't, oh yes it does! (sorry couldn't resist)  The star of this show is undoubtedly May McFetridge, in fact in recent years they've done away with the star names in favour of a 3D section of the show and this has bolstered May up to top billing.  The story of the Panto is Jack and the Beanstalk.  Basically Jack must slay a giant that has been terrorising his "magical village of Ahoghill" or as the fairy calls it "A hog hill".  The giant also steals his prospective bride and so it's doubly important that he completes his task. He sells his cow for some beans and when they're thrown out the window they grow into a magic beanstalk that allows him to climb up to the Giant's castle.  He rescue's his bride to be and destroys the giant.  It all culminates in a wonderful wedding between the two.  The story is secondary however, as this is all about the entertainment, and entertain it does.  

As I said earlier May McFetridge is the star of this show from the moment she arrives in a Smart car on stage. Whether she's heckling people for being too hung-over, getting the young ones up on stage to do a sing-a-long of the music man or singing a broadly Belfast accented version of Lady GaGa's Born This Way (complete with a bra with mouths that sing along and try to eat people) she knows what the crowd want and she gives it to them.  The Panto is also heavily tinged with local references, political, religious and the other.  After asking a small girl where she's from and what instrument she plays (East Belfast and the Violin) she tells her that she heard they were all on the fiddle down there!  


In the second half we're treated to the 3D, arguably the second star of the show.  This is done extremely well with giant ogres hands reaching out to grab you and creepy crawlies appearing to be crawling your way as we make our way through the giants castle. I see a few people taking their glasses off as it gets to the part with the spiders!  I was pretty surprised at how well this was done and enjoyed every second of it.


I take this point to mention how well done all the sets were.  Absolutely immaculate and the the Giant was sat there in his house reaching from the floor of the stage right up to the highest part of the curtain.  Complete with moving eyes, lips and arms.  I love this kind of spectacle and judging by the noises form the crowd when he appeared so did the rest of the audience. This was the moment we'd all been waiting for and it didn't disappoint. The use of local actors was also great to see (and hear).   My only complaint would be the amount of "Pop culture" references that were seemingly forced in.  The worst of these being the part were the fairy performed a Catherine Tate inspired "Am I bovvered" skit.  It just seemed very dated and fell flat with the crowd.  It actually made it seem dated (The Catherine Tate show finished about 5 years ago) and I would like to see less of these and at very least more relevant references. 


So all in all we had a great time and I would recommend the Pantomime to anyone of any age.  As I mentioned earlier we took my wife's mother who's originally English but now lives in Scotland.  On the way out we asked if she enjoyed it "oh yes, it was wonderful" and did you understand what May McFetridge was saying OK? "No, I couldn't make out a bloody word".  So it seems that the Panto, this time at least, even transcended language.

How Does Being From Northern Ireland Affect Your Music Career?

Pastiebap.com asked Mental Deficiency guitarist Alex Kazam for his thoughts on how being from Northern Ireland affects his band.

1. Could you tell me a bit about how you promote your band and how/if

that's changed over the course of your career?

Like most unsigned acts who have self released an album and spend a lot of money on sexy stage-wear our promotional budget is a tad thin. Therefore we've relied heavily on the internet to promote the band. Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and our own website have been essential to reaching new fans and interacting with current ones. We have been lucky to get some publicity in various radio shows and print publications over the years but the internet is definitely where we've had the most success; it's the one constant in our publicity strategy and the main cost is time.

2. What obstacles have you come across being in a band from Northern Ireland?

The main obstacle that is unique to Northern & Southern Ireland is the Irish Sea. Getting the money together for us to travel over the Edinburgh Fringe for example was not easy.

3. How do you think Northern Ireland's music scene compares to others ie.

Southern Ireland/UK?

It's hard to define a music scene and it's difficult to determine what aspects make one better than another. If we're going purely on the quantity of quality bands from the countries you mentioned then the UK is of course leagues ahead of both the Northern Ireland and the South. They've got more variety of genres, magazines, festivals; you name it. A lot of that is down to the population size over there. When you take into consideration the smaller numbers over here however I think we do still have a wealth of talent and some extremely hard-working bands, both north and south of the border.

4. Do you think it's harder for an alternative band to gain support from

the local press/promoters?

I guess it depends how alternative. Support and exposure are two different things. Gaining exposure through local press and promoters is relatively easy - one of the advantages of our smaller population size. You just have to hound them a bit or find a friend of a friend who knows somebody that can help you out. From my own experience, I play in a band that's pretty misunderstood by NI's mainstream music media - probably because it's hard to pigeonhole us into a particular niche (or because they don't like us!). Despite this we've managed to gain some exposure that would be considered widespread on a local level, such as being interviewed for the Across the Line radio show. Getting press or promoters to SUPPORT you is different, this means they'll actively help you out on a very regular basis and endorse you a bit more overtly. This requires a lot more legwork on the networking front, and creating music that the people you want to network with are into.

5. How was supporting Electric Six for you (the whole experience) and what

do you think it'll do for your band?

Supporting Electric Six was a great experience! I really enjoy their music and Mental Deficiency are often compared to them. We made a lot of new fans at that gig and and we always have fun playing to large crowds. In the long run, it's a great thing to have on your CV. I know that the manager of Alestorm, another international band we're supporting next year, was impressed that we were opening for Electric Six which helped convince him we were a good choice for the opening band. Good support slots help you get more support slots which is all all good for your profile.

6. What do you think of Shine Productions and MCD buying over Limelight

and Katy's? (I read your blog on this and was just wondering what you

think it'll mean for bands playing these venues in the future)

It's a good thing. They've guaranteed the venues' future as a live venue and both MCD and Shine appear to be business-savvy enough to ensure they continue to be mainstays of Belfast's nightlife. I'm looking forward to seeing what changes they make to the club nights which have long been in need of an overhaul.

7. What do you think of the talks of scrapping the BBC Introducing NI

radio show and do you think there is adequate support for NI bands?

This is a difficult question as it presents with me a conflict. I think the BBC is an institution in need of major reform, to the extent that I feel a publicly funded TV/Radio company is an archaic idea and that the whole thing should be scrapped. However, we can/have benefited from exposure on it; in particular we've been featured on both BBC Introducing and Across the Line. We're very grateful for this exposure, especially to James Loveday for playing us on his monthly slot on BBC Introducing. However I get the impression that, in Mental Deficiency's case, the regular BBC staff aren't really digging our music and scrapping Introducing NI would have little effect on us. Either that or they buy into the myth about us that all our songs are x-rated and therefore won't play them (7 of the 10 songs on the album are radio-friendly).

That said, if other bands from NI do benefit from it then I wish them the best of luck - more power to them. If the BBC continues to exist then keeping the show on the air it would be a good thing as there's no harm in it. At the same time if it gets scrapped it's not a major loss - properly utilizing the internet as a marketing tool can achieve a lot more for a band than a few plays on the radio in the middle of the night. To be honest though I think the entire BBC should be scrapped for the greater good, even if my band does stand to benefit from its continued existence.

8. Any general thoughts on the NI music scene and how/if you think being

from Northern Ireland affects your chances of success?

It's like any scene; it's got good, bad and ok bands. A few of my favourites would be Roysta, Darkest Era, Gama Bomb, Gascan Ruckus, DutchSchultz, LaFaro, Sinocence and The Answer. There's a ton of NI bands who have sadly called it a day who I also really like.

The Internet has democratized the music business somewhat. Despite our awkward location I believe any band can find success with enough savvy, perseverance and a clear idea in their heads of what they stand for.

Let there be The Darkness...

Let me first start by saying that one one my major pet peeve's of going to concerts is how hard it is to find out stage times.  My ticket for the darkness says "Doors 7:30pm"  the website says "Doors 8pm", Facebook and Twitter are saying nothing, Ulster Hall doesn't have a phone line for such enquiries.  So after much searching on Facebook I hear whispers that Million $ Reload are doing local support, so it's only as I'm having a Pre-drink (Prink) in Wetherspoon's that I finally see that the first act was on at 7:30pm M$R on at 8:10Pm and Darkness at 9pm.  This is at 8:20pm.  So, I'm sorry to say that by the time I drink up and get over to The Ulster Hall I only catch about 2 songs of Million Dollar Reload's set.  I can only assume that the band before them, "Crown Jewel Defence" played literally as people where walking through the doors.


Moving swiftly on to a more positive note  what I heard of Million dollar Reload sounded great. they instantly reminded me of Buckcherry.  Balls out Rock n Roll that's a little sleazy.  The singer at times sounding like Cormac Neeson of The Answer fame.  They're like the sort of band that you would think you would only find playing large arenas across America, but then you hear M$R and realise that for such a tiny  country we're actually producing some of the best Rock n Roll in a long time.  I really can't wait to see these boys play a full set next time.


Sufficiently warmed up by local boys million $ reload and judging by the amount of drink containers in the air sufficiently lubricated, The lights go up and the opening strains of Black Shuck could be heard as the Belfast crowd go mad for everything the boys do. You wouldn't think this was a band that's not had a "hit" in 6 years as the audience reacts knowingly to every song the band play. Wether it be a single or an album, they sing along to every word. It's as if when their second album was released at number 11 in the charts (and then fell the next week to 38) the majority of those customers where from Northern Ireland.  This was everything you want from a darkness gig. Justin Hawkins cycled through various ridiculous and tight fitting outfits (stripy pink jumpsuit anyone?)  the light show was phenomenal, the singles were placed strategically amongst the album tracks and Justin hit all the high notes.  the band tore through "Growing on me" "get your hands off my woman", "Love is only a feeling" and "Dancing on a Friday night" with much aplomb.


There were however 2 high-lights of the night.  The first being when Justin Hawkins rode, astride a security guards shoulders, through the middle of the crowd playing his wireless guitar. Quite the sight to behold.  The second when they played "Don't let the bells end"  I think, like me, for a lot of people this is the first Christmas song they've heard this year played live or judging by the crowd reaction its the first Christmas song they've EVER heard!  As we all clapped, (we will rock you style) sang along and drunk The Darkness finished off by announcing they're working on a new album and would definitely be visiting Belfast again next year and it felt great to be back.  It felt great to have them back, I have to say!

A Beautiful Bomb in Belfast - Reckless Love @ The Lime Light

There not many bands can get away with playing a song called "Beautiful Bomb" in Belfast and completely swerve any kind of political meanings, but Reckless Love can because all their songs are just about *ahem* well lets just say they're all about women.


I fell in love with The Band Reckless Love a few years when I wandered into a Massive tent at Download Festival and the first thing I saw was a man in spandex basically kicking his own head, then I heard the music, the high notes of The Darkness, the sentimentality of Def Leppard and the growling of Motley Crue.  I was blown away then and i have to say that when I saw them for the second time in The Lime light on Thursday 1st Dec I was just as blown away.

Te arrived just in time to see the support take to the stage - The Dirty youth.  A young band of 3 guys playing Guitar, Bass and Drums and a female lead singer.   They had catchy choruses, a pink haired lead good looking singer and probably a pair of GHD straighteners each, because if they shared a pair I don't think they would last too long.  The comparison to Paramore was certain to come, or as my cousin Dave who I was  with put it "They're like Paramore, if Paramore had a more than one song"  they did remind me of Paramore but more broody, growling and with more than one song.  By the end of the set I was sort-of won over, perhaps if i knew the songs better they would grow on me.


Next up we waited with bated breath as (Finlands own) Reckless Love took to the stage. I was a tad nervous as I had spent the last few days listening to their new album "Animal" and i wasn't convinced it was as good as their self-titled debut.  I needed have worried, from the lead singer Ollie Herman's first fist pump and opening wail it was obvious that the new material was sounding just as good as the old stuff.  As they blasted through new songs like "Dirty Dreams", "Hot" and "Speed"  they sounded just as good as old favourites "Beautiful Bomb", "Wild Touch" and "Paradise". They bantered in between songs too as Ollie told the young the young guys in the audience that at their age he "didn't know how to fuck either".  A person favourite of mine was "on the radio" as it covers the oft forgotten practice of broadcasting your love making over the radio so you dad can hear.  As much as its hard to take your eyes off the feast that is Ollie Herman's Androgynous good looks and rippling muscles, its hard not to notice that his guitarist Pepe Salohalme bears an uncanny similarity to a one Noel Fielding of Might Boosh fame.

As the concert drew to a close the band announced they'd played their last song and the crowd booed and got on Ollie asked "have you never been to a Rock n Roll show before?"and then he explained that they just do that so the crowd screams for an encore while they sit back stage "but the backstage in here is in front of the stage"  so instead he changed his T-shirt before the band started with their encore.  Its fair to say that he performed that infamous kick a few times(about 20) though out the night he also had for most songs  some sort of "Power Arm" movements and a a Van Damme style round kick.  If all this sounds confusing see the video below and you'll know what I mean.

The Last time Reckless Love visited Belfast they played Auntie Annies, this time they packed out the Limelight, as they finished their set   it made me wonder where they'll be playing next time they're in Belfast.  Where ever it is, I'll definitely be there to see them do it "One more time".

Fire in the Taco Bell

I feel no shame in admitting that I literally know about two Electric Six songs, probably the exact same Electric Six songs that most of you all know: Gay bar and Danger! High Voltage. But as a fan of eccentric, light-hearted disco I jumped at the chance to get my grubby little mitts on a last minute ticket to see them in Belfast at the Spring & Airbrake last Friday.

The night started out very well; myself and assorted family members managed to jump the queue by repeatedly asking for 'Tony' and making my brother hobble around precariously on crutches ( he does actually have a fractured leg, but this rouse worked so effortlessly that I vehemently recommend this method to everyone, if you can get your hands on a pair of crutches and the venue's phone number). So by 8.20 or so (ten minutes before doors opened) not only we had secured ourselves a table, but we had first dibs at the empty bar and were effectively living the dream...

Mental Deficiency

Local insaniacs, Mental Deficiency were up first and they tore through a 30 minute set which the crowd seemed to love every second of. They played the classics, culminating in everyone's favourite 'GHHGHB'; Mental Deficiency, promoting respect for women since the dawn of time. To be honest, 30 minutes wasn't nearly enough, but with morph suits, pyjama bottoms, and top hats galore, Mental Def seemed to be the perfect accompaniment to the madness which is Electric Six.

Swound!

Next up, the long awaited Swound!, four guys appeared on stage with an array of plaid shirts, Justin Bieber-esque sweepy fringes and classic indie nerd glasses (prescription or not, you decide). At first sight they really don't look like the kind of band that should be touring (however briefly) with Electric Six, but I have to admit that they were good. Their music was catchy enough and being an impressionable teenage girl, I would definitely give their music a second listen, but the awkward pauses in which they attempted to converse with the audience left me feeling a little uncomfortable and wishing for it all to be over. Swound! you're either going to love them or hate them, as you can probably already tell from their overly punctuated name... Personally, I didn't really think that Swound! were the party starters that they should have been and would have put Mental Def on before E6 in order to kick things up a gear, but hey, each to their own.

Now onto the main event, Electric Six were definitely on fire! Mr Dick Valentine, frontman extraordinaire looked positively homeless; unbrushed hair, baggy ill-fitting suit, crazy wide eyes. This was honestly nothing like the debonair, coiffured, gyrating gentleman which I had expected. Well, as debonair and coiffured as 'Gaybraham Linoln' can be. My favourite aspect of Dick's outfit however, was his super creepy latex gloves which he wore, yet never mentioned.

Now, I'm a fan of a band which engage with the audience, and E6 did not disappoint, from jokes about Ireland, to telling us that Van Morrison's nephew was his drummer, Dick Valentine kept up a lively banter with the audience which seemed effortless. For someone who really didn't know an awful lot of E6 songs, I thoroughly enjoyed their mammoth 15 song set and was even able to sing along to a fair few. Despite this, the best was yet to come as Mr Valentine announced that they "didn't come all this way to play a 15 song set, they'd come all this way to play an 18 song set", suffice to say, the final three songs were well received and everyone left feeling a little bit more camp than they had when the night began.

By Laura Caldwell

The 12th Annual Belfast Beer & Cider Festival

Surprisingly I’ve never been to a Beer festival before.  But I did go this year.  I went to the 12th Annual Belfast Beer & Cider Festival held in the Ulster Hall.  I really didn’t know what to expect, so I thought as long as there’s no Harp it’ll be fine.  I’m pleased to report that there was no Harp.

I went on the Saturday (with my brother), which was the last of 3 days that the festival was on, arriving at 1pm.  We paid our £3 entrance fee and £8 for tokens and 1 souvenir Pint Glass and program later we were in the main hall of the Ulster hall. 


The first thing that greets you right in the middle is a massive rig about 20ft high containing about 100 Bizarrely named beers, it was easy to see why it’s billed as the biggest bar in Ireland.

The rig had 4 Bars, each bar was named after a white start liner –Titanic, Olympic, Britannic and Nomadic and each of the 4 bars housed beers from a different region of the UK.  For instance the Titanic Bar was for Belfast Beers from N.Ireland, Wales and the Isle of Man.  There was a stall with traditional Pub games, a CAMRA (Campaign for Real ale) stall and cider corner.  A corner devoted to Ciders, there were about 20 in all.

For the benefit of people who haven’t been to a beer festival before, I’ll explain the system shall I?  Basically you buy a sheet of tokens for £8.  This has 4 x £1.60 tokens and 16 x 10p tokens, when you buy a half pint (we are trying to taste as many as possible after all) depending on the strength, you pay anywhere between £1.60 and £2.  The stronger the beer the more expensive.  So my first half pint, the wonderfully named Bucking Fastard, being only a 4% beer cost £1.60.  But my last Pint, Diablo(6%), was £1.80. I wanted a Pint of the (whisper it) SKULLSPLITTER at 8.9% but alas even at 5:50pm it had sold out.

So my brother and I sat down and enjoyed a few half pints – Bucking Fastard, Ginger Tosser, 99 Red Baboons, Becon buster’s Broomstick.  At 2pm the Band Hot whiskey Came on and the place started filling up, all the tables where full and I decided it was time to sample the Cornish Pasty’s I had eyed on the way in.  The stall manned by the Cornish Pasty Trading Company  who’s shop I’ve walked past a few times on Church street, had an array of different Pasty’s on offer.  In the end I opted for a Steak and gravy and a traditional.  It came to about a fiver for both and I have to say they were really delicious and the perfect accompanying food to a half pint of Ginger Tosser.

At 3pm we had to leave the merriment and music of the main hall and we were whisked to the upper echelons of the Ulster hall for a tutored tasting session.  Helmed by 2 very knowledgeable gentlemen whose names elude me they took us though a history of beer making and gave us 9 different beers to sample. From ales to porters it was a walk through a wide array of different types of beer form the deathly black to the apple juice clear. They talked us through the flavours and aromas in a very similar fashion to wine tasting.  They answered any and all questions that where thrown at them.  Also the craic was great between the 15 or so that where at the session.  I guess people tend to be quite relaxed at a beer festival, who’ve thunk it! It was a great way to spend an hour and well worth the £10 fee.  I would recommend it as a must do for anyone visiting next year.

When we left a short time later the hall was getting really full, so I can only presume it was a massive success. I thought it was a great way to pass an afternoon or even an evening, though I must try and arrive earlier next year to try for a pint of the elusive Skullsplitter!


By Chris Caldwell

MTV EMA's in Belfast or How Justin Bieber interfered with my Saturday

So the MTV EMA's came and went. Lady Gaga wore a mad hat, a staged Belfastian streaked across the stage, Justin Bieber "killed it" and Selena Gomez was as dull as dish water. I first found out about the EMAs bring in Belfast on twitter, probably like a lot a people, and immediately wondered what it would actually mean to Belfast and most importantly - what it would mean to me.

The first thing i encountered was posters.

Getting off at Belfast Central daily I began to notice that adorning the lamp posts either side of the road on the way into town were these purple posters proclaiming the imminent arrival of said awards. I like purple, it naturally makes people in a better mood. So I was pleased with this.

Walking through Belfast on the Friday night before the EMAs I walked past them building the stage, it looked impressive.

The city hall was lit up like a Jean Michael Jarre concert and looked equally impressive in it's own right.

But the biggest effect it had on me personally was on Saturday. I had a few friends over from Scotland, one just happened to be over, the other was over with an artist that was appearing at the EMAs and since we all had the day off we went for a few drinks. The city was a buzz on Saturday. Kids every where, massive purple posters on buildings, buses and shops. The stage loomed large at city hall reminding everyone what was happening the next night. And as I went to take my mates for a few rums in The Spaniard bar I was greeted by the sight of hundreds of people thronging the end of the street it was on. Then I noticed the whole street was cordoned off by security and police.

As I asked about getting to The Spaniard, 2 words came back ringing in my wars. Justin Bieber. Justin Bloody Bieber. Or Ustin Bieber as a Spanish lady screamed at me on my way skirting round The Merchant Hotel (Where he was allegedly staying). We tried the other side of the street but it was even worse. Girls with Justin on their face, ladies crying and even a few rubber necking spides. I thought Belfast was better than this but ah well. I guess like the EMAs itself when you watch it on TV, it could be just any city in the world when the Beibs is in town. For those of you worried, we just made out way to The Duke of York for a cracking pint of Guinness instead.

I watched the EMA's like 99% of the people did of course.  On my TV.  Belfast looked great, the city represented itself well as a whole and it apparently brought a lot of money in for the province. But what the EMA's meant to me - Drinking Guinness in the Duke of York instead of Rum in The Spaniard.

According to a later tweet from the PSNI the Biebs never was staying in the merchant in the first place. So I guess in the end it wasn't even his fault.



By Chris Caldwell

BeeMickSee - I'm not like you

I remember being at a Roysta gig in the Pavilion and he had Mental Deficiency as support.  But before either of these bands took to the "stage", what looked for all the world like a wee spide grabbed the mic and made his way to the front.  As his music kicked in and he began spitting rhyme after rhyme of coherent, witty and often insightful raps it became apparent that this guy actually knew what he was doing.  Spending the majority of his set on the floor with the crowd he certainly warmed the people for the upcoming acts and earned himself a few new fans in the process. I couldn't believe that I'd never heard of this guy before. Since then I've seen him all over the place. He's a part of the awesome Bomb City 7 who seemed to play just about every festival going during the summer.  Also recently he had his single launch recently at Boojum on Chichester street.  Having the ingenious idea of giving a free single with every Burrito.  Here's a wee video of what rap in a burrito bar looks like by the way.

And that single was the ridiculously catchy "I'm not like you". With crunchy guitars and a sing-a-long chorus this is definitely one you could stick on at a house party or see yourself shouting along to at a gig. I suggest for now though you check out his stuff for yourself (which is a free download) on Bandcamp.   Between BeeMickSee, Bomb City 7, Team Fresh and Roysta there's a decent enough wee scene for Norn Irish rap, I guess you just need to know where too look.

http://beemicksee.bandcamp.com/
http://bombcity7.bandcamp.com

Britney, Oh Britney!

Like most boys (men) of my age I remember Britney when she first burst  onto the worlds radar as a nubile lolita figure belting out a song about  domestic violence whilst dressed as a slutty school girl.  Cut from that to near 15 years later and what I saw last night at the "Femme Fatale" tour and, well, let's start by saying the concert was "interesting".

My wife is a Britney fan.  I was a Britney fan, albeit for different reasons than my wife is. She has been an omnipresent figure since I was about 15.  So when I got an e-mail yesterday saying I had won 2 tickets (a near £130 value) to go and see Britney live at the Odyssey Arena Belfast, I thought "might as well". We missed the support act of Joe Jonas, a single Jonas brother( I guess they've split the Horcruxes up). So as we got in with 5 minutes to spare the first thing we saw was a giant screen counting down to the start of the show. 

The place was mostly full.  A massive stage had been erected with all sorts of moving video walls and what looked like a pylons either side.  The countdown finished and an intro video started playing on the screens.  Some creepy guy talking into a microphone and then videos of Britney getting arrested.  It would become clear over the night, as these video's peppered the concert, that this was supposed to be some sort of narrative about a guy stalking Britney or working for a radio station or talking about "Femme Fatales"(who know which).  Basically it was incomprehensible but it presumably allowed Britney to get changed between songs and apparently allowed her to wheel out set designs like a Prison and an ancient Egyptian Boat and a Barbie jeep.

But I digress, Britney eventually appeared to a sea of cheers and a hero's welcome! She looked fine for a woman who's now 30 years old, but it's obvious she's not the performer she once was. She then proceeded to mime every song bar one and shuffle her way through the most unenergetic dance routines I've ever seen.  She did a lot of hand dancing and not a lot of foot dancing. 

She had a fleet of about 12 dancers and as they danced up a storm Britney generally stood in the middle and moved her arms.  Then she skipped to the next mark and repeated the action.  In the middle came the bit where she sung live. I think it was live.  To achieve this she had to sit on a swing, I'm not sure if the act of standing and singing would've been too much, but we'll never find out because she never did both simultaneously.

The culmination of the concert and the increasingly bizarre video clips was the coming together of the 2 pylons and as the pylons (for whatever reason) spat fireworks into the sky Britney ascended towards the roof and giant angels wings unfurled, or at least they were supposed to.  One unfurled and the other sat there limp and life less.

The concert was fine but as I said to my wife afterwards, it was more like "Britney: The Musical" than a Britney concert.  She didn't sing, she barely danced and she looked oddly vacant throughout. But with that much stage production and actual dancers it's hard not to enjoy the spectacle.


By Chris Caldwell