Christmas Cracker at the Black Box

The Black Box in Belfast's Cathedral Quarter is one of my all time favourite venues and I like to go and support it as much as possible. So when I heard that they were holding a so called 'Christmas Cracker', I gathered up my family and headed out.

Suffice to say that none of us really knew what to expect, however we had gone to the previous two years Pigeon and Plum's Vaudeville Circus and this event featured many of the same performers. The Black Box itself lives up to its name very well, the main room is literally a black box, yet it had been transformed into a veritable wonderland of winter-ness. Paper decorations and tinsel hung from every possible space and a dozen or so tables had been set up across the floor. Christmas music was playing and guests were greeted by mulled wine and a man wearing a ridiculous wig and pink dress...this was going to be an interesting night.

The mood was high and the stage was adorned with christmas decorations galore, it was made up to look like an old 70's style living room, complete with an easy chair, a christmas tree and presents. As we took our seats and sipped at our mulled wine the room began to fill up and it was announced that the hog roast was ready. Yes, you heard, a delicious hog roast.  So after we had all eaten our weight in pork and crackling the show was ready to begin...

We were greeted by the charming 'Miss Candy Cane' who sang a selection of christmas songs including Jingle Bells and All I Want For Christmas Is You. Next up on stage was our host, Ron Crackling who wore a festive Christmas jumper and dodgy toupee. Ron was quite the character and his cheeky smile and sarcastic banter won the audience over instantly, it was clear that everybody was here for a good time.

The Christmas Cracker is basically a tongue-in-cheek variety show which doesn't take itself too seriously. Each performer has their own unique personality which is always as entertaining (if not more so) than the act which they are performing. The performers made good use of all of the Black Box's facilities, using a projector to display a short filmed skit of Ron running all around town looking for presents, this was an unexpected treat and added to the enjoyment over all.

However, I did get the impression that the Christmas theme wasn't a strict one, as the next performance was a hula hooping spacewoman and 'blue blob' (a woman in a blue morph suit who crawled around the stage grinning maniacally while staring at the spacewoman). This didn't matter though, as the audience was practically crying with laughter at this surreal scene. As an added bonus, the hula hooping was very impressive too.

Another particularly poignant, yet surreal moment is when Ron and a man wearing a David Bowie mask (and curtain/cape) dueted on Little Drummer Boy, both of which gave it stacks. Other performances included a sexy christmas burlesque dancer, a lot more singing and a rather impressive escapology act.

Next, the part we'd all been waiting for, the prizes for the 'best Christmas jumper' competition. The audience had donned their craziest knits and we saw some spectacular options including one which featured Santa's legs hanging out of a chimney. The winners however where a couple with matching his and hers jumpers (see below).

My personal highlight of the whole night is when the entirety of the cast gathered on stage in order to participate in a rendition of East 17's classic Christmas song Stay Another Day. Some of the older members obviously didn't know the words, but everyone gave it their all regardless, dancing and singing at the top of their lungs. It was definitely one of the funniest things I have seen all year. It's hard to describe The Christmas Cracker to someone who wasn't there, descriptions really don't do it justice at all. It's one of those 'you had to be there' events and I urge everyone to go next year, as it's definitely been the highlight of mine.

Going to a Pantomime at 29 years old.

Jack and the Beanstock Pantomime

@ The Grand Opera house

For the 3rd year in a row I went to the Panto at the Grand Opera House this year.  I used to go to the Panto every year during primary school, then in primary 7 it all stopped for about 16 years until my wife's mother was visiting us from Scotland for Christmas and we were trying to find things that everyone can do together. And I think thats one of the best things about a Panto,  anyone from 5 years old to 79 years old can go and enjoy it. It's bright lights, pyrotechnics, special effects, huge sets, crude jokes and pure entertainment.  I'm a massive wrestling fan and the parallels between the 2 are not hard to draw.  


I went to the Panto with my wife, mum, dad, sister, granny and mother-in-law. As we approach the GOH (Grand Opera House) we see through the glass walls kids running everywhere, light up wands and guns(?) and ice cream and sweets being sold from every conceivable place.  As we get in and get our seats we realise that we're probably the only ones here without kids, but we do have 2 septuagenarians so I image the experience to be very similar.  My nineteen year old sister then decides that she wants a flashing rotating light gun thing, so when I bounce off  to get her one I end up telling the lady behind the counter it's not for me, it's for the kids.  She looks at me like the teller looks at Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone.


And so the show begins; oh no it doesn't, oh yes it does! (sorry couldn't resist)  The star of this show is undoubtedly May McFetridge, in fact in recent years they've done away with the star names in favour of a 3D section of the show and this has bolstered May up to top billing.  The story of the Panto is Jack and the Beanstalk.  Basically Jack must slay a giant that has been terrorising his "magical village of Ahoghill" or as the fairy calls it "A hog hill".  The giant also steals his prospective bride and so it's doubly important that he completes his task. He sells his cow for some beans and when they're thrown out the window they grow into a magic beanstalk that allows him to climb up to the Giant's castle.  He rescue's his bride to be and destroys the giant.  It all culminates in a wonderful wedding between the two.  The story is secondary however, as this is all about the entertainment, and entertain it does.  

As I said earlier May McFetridge is the star of this show from the moment she arrives in a Smart car on stage. Whether she's heckling people for being too hung-over, getting the young ones up on stage to do a sing-a-long of the music man or singing a broadly Belfast accented version of Lady GaGa's Born This Way (complete with a bra with mouths that sing along and try to eat people) she knows what the crowd want and she gives it to them.  The Panto is also heavily tinged with local references, political, religious and the other.  After asking a small girl where she's from and what instrument she plays (East Belfast and the Violin) she tells her that she heard they were all on the fiddle down there!  


In the second half we're treated to the 3D, arguably the second star of the show.  This is done extremely well with giant ogres hands reaching out to grab you and creepy crawlies appearing to be crawling your way as we make our way through the giants castle. I see a few people taking their glasses off as it gets to the part with the spiders!  I was pretty surprised at how well this was done and enjoyed every second of it.


I take this point to mention how well done all the sets were.  Absolutely immaculate and the the Giant was sat there in his house reaching from the floor of the stage right up to the highest part of the curtain.  Complete with moving eyes, lips and arms.  I love this kind of spectacle and judging by the noises form the crowd when he appeared so did the rest of the audience. This was the moment we'd all been waiting for and it didn't disappoint. The use of local actors was also great to see (and hear).   My only complaint would be the amount of "Pop culture" references that were seemingly forced in.  The worst of these being the part were the fairy performed a Catherine Tate inspired "Am I bovvered" skit.  It just seemed very dated and fell flat with the crowd.  It actually made it seem dated (The Catherine Tate show finished about 5 years ago) and I would like to see less of these and at very least more relevant references. 


So all in all we had a great time and I would recommend the Pantomime to anyone of any age.  As I mentioned earlier we took my wife's mother who's originally English but now lives in Scotland.  On the way out we asked if she enjoyed it "oh yes, it was wonderful" and did you understand what May McFetridge was saying OK? "No, I couldn't make out a bloody word".  So it seems that the Panto, this time at least, even transcended language.

How Does Being From Northern Ireland Affect Your Music Career?

Pastiebap.com asked Mental Deficiency guitarist Alex Kazam for his thoughts on how being from Northern Ireland affects his band.

1. Could you tell me a bit about how you promote your band and how/if

that's changed over the course of your career?

Like most unsigned acts who have self released an album and spend a lot of money on sexy stage-wear our promotional budget is a tad thin. Therefore we've relied heavily on the internet to promote the band. Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and our own website have been essential to reaching new fans and interacting with current ones. We have been lucky to get some publicity in various radio shows and print publications over the years but the internet is definitely where we've had the most success; it's the one constant in our publicity strategy and the main cost is time.

2. What obstacles have you come across being in a band from Northern Ireland?

The main obstacle that is unique to Northern & Southern Ireland is the Irish Sea. Getting the money together for us to travel over the Edinburgh Fringe for example was not easy.

3. How do you think Northern Ireland's music scene compares to others ie.

Southern Ireland/UK?

It's hard to define a music scene and it's difficult to determine what aspects make one better than another. If we're going purely on the quantity of quality bands from the countries you mentioned then the UK is of course leagues ahead of both the Northern Ireland and the South. They've got more variety of genres, magazines, festivals; you name it. A lot of that is down to the population size over there. When you take into consideration the smaller numbers over here however I think we do still have a wealth of talent and some extremely hard-working bands, both north and south of the border.

4. Do you think it's harder for an alternative band to gain support from

the local press/promoters?

I guess it depends how alternative. Support and exposure are two different things. Gaining exposure through local press and promoters is relatively easy - one of the advantages of our smaller population size. You just have to hound them a bit or find a friend of a friend who knows somebody that can help you out. From my own experience, I play in a band that's pretty misunderstood by NI's mainstream music media - probably because it's hard to pigeonhole us into a particular niche (or because they don't like us!). Despite this we've managed to gain some exposure that would be considered widespread on a local level, such as being interviewed for the Across the Line radio show. Getting press or promoters to SUPPORT you is different, this means they'll actively help you out on a very regular basis and endorse you a bit more overtly. This requires a lot more legwork on the networking front, and creating music that the people you want to network with are into.

5. How was supporting Electric Six for you (the whole experience) and what

do you think it'll do for your band?

Supporting Electric Six was a great experience! I really enjoy their music and Mental Deficiency are often compared to them. We made a lot of new fans at that gig and and we always have fun playing to large crowds. In the long run, it's a great thing to have on your CV. I know that the manager of Alestorm, another international band we're supporting next year, was impressed that we were opening for Electric Six which helped convince him we were a good choice for the opening band. Good support slots help you get more support slots which is all all good for your profile.

6. What do you think of Shine Productions and MCD buying over Limelight

and Katy's? (I read your blog on this and was just wondering what you

think it'll mean for bands playing these venues in the future)

It's a good thing. They've guaranteed the venues' future as a live venue and both MCD and Shine appear to be business-savvy enough to ensure they continue to be mainstays of Belfast's nightlife. I'm looking forward to seeing what changes they make to the club nights which have long been in need of an overhaul.

7. What do you think of the talks of scrapping the BBC Introducing NI

radio show and do you think there is adequate support for NI bands?

This is a difficult question as it presents with me a conflict. I think the BBC is an institution in need of major reform, to the extent that I feel a publicly funded TV/Radio company is an archaic idea and that the whole thing should be scrapped. However, we can/have benefited from exposure on it; in particular we've been featured on both BBC Introducing and Across the Line. We're very grateful for this exposure, especially to James Loveday for playing us on his monthly slot on BBC Introducing. However I get the impression that, in Mental Deficiency's case, the regular BBC staff aren't really digging our music and scrapping Introducing NI would have little effect on us. Either that or they buy into the myth about us that all our songs are x-rated and therefore won't play them (7 of the 10 songs on the album are radio-friendly).

That said, if other bands from NI do benefit from it then I wish them the best of luck - more power to them. If the BBC continues to exist then keeping the show on the air it would be a good thing as there's no harm in it. At the same time if it gets scrapped it's not a major loss - properly utilizing the internet as a marketing tool can achieve a lot more for a band than a few plays on the radio in the middle of the night. To be honest though I think the entire BBC should be scrapped for the greater good, even if my band does stand to benefit from its continued existence.

8. Any general thoughts on the NI music scene and how/if you think being

from Northern Ireland affects your chances of success?

It's like any scene; it's got good, bad and ok bands. A few of my favourites would be Roysta, Darkest Era, Gama Bomb, Gascan Ruckus, DutchSchultz, LaFaro, Sinocence and The Answer. There's a ton of NI bands who have sadly called it a day who I also really like.

The Internet has democratized the music business somewhat. Despite our awkward location I believe any band can find success with enough savvy, perseverance and a clear idea in their heads of what they stand for.

Let there be The Darkness...

Let me first start by saying that one one my major pet peeve's of going to concerts is how hard it is to find out stage times.  My ticket for the darkness says "Doors 7:30pm"  the website says "Doors 8pm", Facebook and Twitter are saying nothing, Ulster Hall doesn't have a phone line for such enquiries.  So after much searching on Facebook I hear whispers that Million $ Reload are doing local support, so it's only as I'm having a Pre-drink (Prink) in Wetherspoon's that I finally see that the first act was on at 7:30pm M$R on at 8:10Pm and Darkness at 9pm.  This is at 8:20pm.  So, I'm sorry to say that by the time I drink up and get over to The Ulster Hall I only catch about 2 songs of Million Dollar Reload's set.  I can only assume that the band before them, "Crown Jewel Defence" played literally as people where walking through the doors.


Moving swiftly on to a more positive note  what I heard of Million dollar Reload sounded great. they instantly reminded me of Buckcherry.  Balls out Rock n Roll that's a little sleazy.  The singer at times sounding like Cormac Neeson of The Answer fame.  They're like the sort of band that you would think you would only find playing large arenas across America, but then you hear M$R and realise that for such a tiny  country we're actually producing some of the best Rock n Roll in a long time.  I really can't wait to see these boys play a full set next time.


Sufficiently warmed up by local boys million $ reload and judging by the amount of drink containers in the air sufficiently lubricated, The lights go up and the opening strains of Black Shuck could be heard as the Belfast crowd go mad for everything the boys do. You wouldn't think this was a band that's not had a "hit" in 6 years as the audience reacts knowingly to every song the band play. Wether it be a single or an album, they sing along to every word. It's as if when their second album was released at number 11 in the charts (and then fell the next week to 38) the majority of those customers where from Northern Ireland.  This was everything you want from a darkness gig. Justin Hawkins cycled through various ridiculous and tight fitting outfits (stripy pink jumpsuit anyone?)  the light show was phenomenal, the singles were placed strategically amongst the album tracks and Justin hit all the high notes.  the band tore through "Growing on me" "get your hands off my woman", "Love is only a feeling" and "Dancing on a Friday night" with much aplomb.


There were however 2 high-lights of the night.  The first being when Justin Hawkins rode, astride a security guards shoulders, through the middle of the crowd playing his wireless guitar. Quite the sight to behold.  The second when they played "Don't let the bells end"  I think, like me, for a lot of people this is the first Christmas song they've heard this year played live or judging by the crowd reaction its the first Christmas song they've EVER heard!  As we all clapped, (we will rock you style) sang along and drunk The Darkness finished off by announcing they're working on a new album and would definitely be visiting Belfast again next year and it felt great to be back.  It felt great to have them back, I have to say!

A Beautiful Bomb in Belfast - Reckless Love @ The Lime Light

There not many bands can get away with playing a song called "Beautiful Bomb" in Belfast and completely swerve any kind of political meanings, but Reckless Love can because all their songs are just about *ahem* well lets just say they're all about women.


I fell in love with The Band Reckless Love a few years when I wandered into a Massive tent at Download Festival and the first thing I saw was a man in spandex basically kicking his own head, then I heard the music, the high notes of The Darkness, the sentimentality of Def Leppard and the growling of Motley Crue.  I was blown away then and i have to say that when I saw them for the second time in The Lime light on Thursday 1st Dec I was just as blown away.

Te arrived just in time to see the support take to the stage - The Dirty youth.  A young band of 3 guys playing Guitar, Bass and Drums and a female lead singer.   They had catchy choruses, a pink haired lead good looking singer and probably a pair of GHD straighteners each, because if they shared a pair I don't think they would last too long.  The comparison to Paramore was certain to come, or as my cousin Dave who I was  with put it "They're like Paramore, if Paramore had a more than one song"  they did remind me of Paramore but more broody, growling and with more than one song.  By the end of the set I was sort-of won over, perhaps if i knew the songs better they would grow on me.


Next up we waited with bated breath as (Finlands own) Reckless Love took to the stage. I was a tad nervous as I had spent the last few days listening to their new album "Animal" and i wasn't convinced it was as good as their self-titled debut.  I needed have worried, from the lead singer Ollie Herman's first fist pump and opening wail it was obvious that the new material was sounding just as good as the old stuff.  As they blasted through new songs like "Dirty Dreams", "Hot" and "Speed"  they sounded just as good as old favourites "Beautiful Bomb", "Wild Touch" and "Paradise". They bantered in between songs too as Ollie told the young the young guys in the audience that at their age he "didn't know how to fuck either".  A person favourite of mine was "on the radio" as it covers the oft forgotten practice of broadcasting your love making over the radio so you dad can hear.  As much as its hard to take your eyes off the feast that is Ollie Herman's Androgynous good looks and rippling muscles, its hard not to notice that his guitarist Pepe Salohalme bears an uncanny similarity to a one Noel Fielding of Might Boosh fame.

As the concert drew to a close the band announced they'd played their last song and the crowd booed and got on Ollie asked "have you never been to a Rock n Roll show before?"and then he explained that they just do that so the crowd screams for an encore while they sit back stage "but the backstage in here is in front of the stage"  so instead he changed his T-shirt before the band started with their encore.  Its fair to say that he performed that infamous kick a few times(about 20) though out the night he also had for most songs  some sort of "Power Arm" movements and a a Van Damme style round kick.  If all this sounds confusing see the video below and you'll know what I mean.

The Last time Reckless Love visited Belfast they played Auntie Annies, this time they packed out the Limelight, as they finished their set   it made me wonder where they'll be playing next time they're in Belfast.  Where ever it is, I'll definitely be there to see them do it "One more time".